We’re sucking on a bottle like the babies we are, it’s that oral fixation that gets us this far. I couldn’t help but tell myself I’d end up that way - with the people I came from in the places they stayed. I will be Paul with an IV drip of benzene instead of alcohol. I got him on my head it’s just a matter of time before he sinks into my mind. I’m walking on a double helix razor thin knife and the side where I fall is the rest of my life. I’m digging through my pocket for a match or a lighter. My head doesn’t want it, but my mind’s a fighter. I will be Paul, if I don’t have everything I’ll have nothing at all.
Track Name: Cannery Row
Let’s take a walk to the beach, we can go kayaking out to the kelp forest and see the otters on Cannery Row. If we get bored with that we can go down the street, visit the aquarium and get some taffy. Steinbeck never wrote about the cookies at the Doubletree Inn.
Track Name: Dead By Now
I’m going nowhere being different like everyone else. My stomach’s gone, there’s nothing but a circle punched out through my gut so I’ll sit down a second while I die. I take my weight off my fucked up knee and I shout what is wrong with me, but in my head so only I can hear. And my self loathing answers me - it says, “Your 2d geometry is twisted like a torus in New York.” And I’ll probably go back soon, back to the cloying comfort of my room. Because what else do I know? Fuck it, I’ll see you back home.
Track Name: Something Weird
We’re about two years behind - we should have noticed by now we will never be like those people on TV, because I’ve been too busy falling forward in my own despair to notice that you’re there. But I’m weak and you’re strong and I knew it all along, so stand up and I just might not pull you down. Of course there’s something here. Could I make it something weird? If I did I think I know you’d stick around. If I left you would you fall apart, my dear? If I said to (stay/go) would you just leave me here? If I haven’t had a good dream in about ten years, are my dark times coming or are they here? I know you may not understand what I’m saying right now, but I know someday you will. And when that Wednesday comes I hope you’re standing right there; I’ll be standing, singing, playing over here. Am I right? Am I wrong? Did we know it all along? When our decade comes do you know where we’ll be? Was there something weird I said when we were lying in our bed we made for ourselves when we were seventeen?
Track Name: Folk Punk
I’ve never done a line of coke before, so I guess that means I’m not cool enough to play punk rock. But I think I have just enough talent and a big enough lack of friends to play folk punk. I’ve never been to a hardcore show but I want to go, and I’ve never been in a band before because I play too slow. I’m way too slow. I’ve listened to so much emo it makes me want to cry, but I haven’t found anything I like better so for now I’ll keep pretending that I don’t want to cry. This is a song about nothing because that’s all I really know how to write about, and this is a song about music because that’s all I really want to write about.